Friday, June 6, 2008


How to play this game. Post these rules on your blog; List 3 JOYS, 3 FEARS, 3 CURRENT OBSESSIONS/COLLECTIONS and 3 RANDOM SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names.

1. Oh course first I have to say my children. For me there in no greater joy then immediately after giving birth and the doctor handing me my baby for the very first time. With Ella I didn't know what to expect- it was instantaneous love for this little lady. I entered Motherhood. I had always wanted to be a mom and she's my first baby, she made my dream come true. I feel so lucky that she's mine. That she chose me to be her mother here on earth. She's such a wonderful, thoughtful and caring person. She truly is my best friend. Some day's I don't know what I would do without her. My little princess.
Then of course there is Jack too. We had tried for a sibling for Ella two times previous to conceiving Jack. Both ending in miscarriage. Jack's pregnancy was extremely difficult and I don't think that a day went by that I didn't cry from worry that something would go wrong. So at that second when the doctor handed him to me for that very first time- it might have been the single happiest moment of my life. Not to mention the biggest relief that he had made it here and that he was perfect. After we found out that he was going to be a boy the thought had occurred to me that perhaps he was going to be a really busy little guy. I don't have a lot of patience but because I had wanted him so badly that maybe I would be more capable of dealing with a hellion. I think that I may have been right. At six months old this kids is getting into so much trouble. But you know, I'm not sure that I would have it any other way. He is my joy when I can't find it anywhere else.
2. My husband. Ryan may very well be the funniest guy that you'll ever meet. His mom and I have often thought that he would be great as a stand up comedian. He is just so naturally funny- he can make anyone laugh. Especially me- everyday! My Mom on several occasions has had to beg him to stop before she wets her pants. (Sorry mom, but it's true.) He's also one of the hardest working guys that I know. When others would give up or say that something is just too hard, Ryan will keep at it. It doesn't matter if it's a deal at work, fixing something in the car, or reaching his goals- he NEVER gives up. Even though he may seem as though he's just the funny guy who can't be serious- in actuality he has a very strong testimony of the gospel and profound understanding of Christ and his atonement. Ryan's always there if anyone ever needs a blessing. He's such a wonderful Father. Ella adores him. She believes that he can do no wrong. He is her best buddy. He was made to be a father and I'm so glad that he's the father of my children. He would do anything for them and I mean anything. Lastly- this month marks 7 years that we have been together. I still look at him the same way I did that first night I met him. We don't always get along but I know that he's always there for me and loves me- even when I'm acting crazy. He has always been a support to me in reach my goals. Sometimes I feel like we are an unstoppable team, able to do anything. He brings me joy that I get the opportunity to spend my life with him. I love you Ryan.
3. Maybe the most important thing that brings me joy is my knowledge of the gospel and of my savior Jesus Christ. To know that through him I am able to repent of my sins and be forgiven. To know that I have been given a promise that someday I will return again to live with him and my family forever. To know that I can turn to my Father in heaven in prayer at any moment for any thing and know that he is there to listen to me and will bless me. That brings me joy.
Alright since joy turned into a novel I'm going to try and speed through the others a little more. We'll see. It may take you a couple of days to get through this whole thing.
1.First off- I'm not only afraid but terrified that something will happen to one of my kids. my worries range from a simple fall to brain cancer. I worry about things such as, SIDS, stranger danger, immunisations, dry drowning ( I just found out about this, look it up!) car seats, food, and any type of poison or injury. I'm worried that they will die in their sleep. Even Ella at almost 5 years old, I can't stop worrying! The thought of her being in school where I can't protect her gives me a panic attack. These kids are my life and I don't know what I would do if anything happened to them. I don't worry so much about Ryan, he's built like a horse. As he says, it's going to take more then one bullet to kill him.
2. I've always been afraid of dying either by drowning, falling or being burned alive. None of them sound like a very pleasant way of getting out of this life. I would prefer to leave in my sleep the night before my 100Th birthday. Not that I have much say in that, but I can hope. I also feel that stabbing, rape, gun shot wound and being held captive until I starve to death don't sound that great either. I'm always afraid when Ryan's out of town that some one's going to break into the house when I'm all alone with the children. It's my hope that I would open a can of woopass on the guy and not hide in the closet. I hope I never have to find out.
3. I guess that it's less a fear and more just gross. I hate bugs. I didn't know before I moved here that in Arizona they are EVERYWHERE! I can't stand them. I'm afraid one will climb up my leg or up my back. My friend told me that once in the shower she looked down to find a cockroach on her leg. I would have thrown up! Oh, I'm getting the chills just thinking about them. I HATE bugs! They freak me out!
1. Honestly, it's just to be the best wife and mother that I can. I try to be perfect at keeping my house clean, always having the laundry done and dinner on the table on time. However I often fall short. I try to be the best mom and plan fun adventures and activities for Ella. There is just not enough time in the day. I remember thinking that I wanted to be June Cleaver or Martha Stuart. I think that it is possible, if I didn't need to sleep or eat. Still, it's a goal that I have. If you're not moving forward you're moving back. I hope that I'm constantly learning and growing to become better.
2. I want to go to school. After high school I moved out to Utah thinking that I would start school. I met Ryan 32 day's after I moved there. That was the end of that. But someday I would love to get my degree. I'm not sure what I would even want to major in. But it's something that I feel is important to do... someday.
3. I want to go on more dates with Ryan. This past year has been so crazy with our house, the birth of Jack, moving, jobs. Just life. That we have forgotten that we need to spend some quality time alone together. I don't think that we've been on a date in almost an entire year. That's pathetic. We were talking last night that we are going to make it a goal to go on a date together at least once a month.
{Current Obsessions}
1. Well anyone who's looking at my blog obviously can tell that I'm a little obsessed with taking pictures of my kids! I can't help that they are absolutely adorable. I take pictures of them everyday. I've even been thinking about starting taking pictures of other families. So if anyone out there is interested let me know, I would love the practice.
2. Um, this. Blogging. I LOVE it! Again as you can tell, I'm on here a lot and post something (mostly pictures) almost everyday. I also love to blog hop. Go from one blog to one of their friends blogs to one of their friends blogs. I also love going onto photography blogs. I think that I could look at them all day long. They give me such wonderful ideas.
3. Honestly, finding a good school for Ella. I had such a terrible time in school which then led to me being home schooled. I feel terrified that Ella will have the same struggles in school that I had. (bully's, mean teachers, wanting to be at home with my mom) I've been to millions of web sites, talked to many many other mothers in this area, talked to literally 12 schools on the phone and gone into 2. All in hopes of finding what I think is best for my little lady. I'm still on the hunt. I'll let you know what I figure it all out. Did you know that here in Arizona they start school on August 4Th!? What the heck!?
{Random Facts}
umm.... I don't know. What could be random to me might not be for someone else.
1. I hate dairy products. Well hate is a strong word. I dislike most dairy. I don't think that I could drink just a regular glass of milk to save my life. I think it tastes like spit. I don't really care for ice cream or yogurt. I hate cottage cheese, make me gag.
2. Like most people, I like a clean house. But when it comes to vacuuming uh.. I'm the wost. I HATE crumbs on the floor! If I step on anything, I immediately want to sweep, mop and vacuum. I vacuum AT LEAST once a day. The whole house. Even if I can't see or feel anything. I know it's there and I want to vacuum it up! OCD... maybe.
3. My brain is tired. That and I'm not that exciting. I had to call Sarah in order to figure out what to type for this one. She thinks that I'm a freak that I keep a journal. I think that she may be right. I don't mean that once a year a write something spiritual or meaningful. I have written in a journal at least once a week since I was 10 and it's almost always about nothing. Ryan thinks that I just write about him and what he does that makes me mad, which is not at all true. I write about the kids and about our move. I think it's a way for me to sort through my thoughts. I think that I have about 40 journals all together. I've been meaning to type them all up and burn them onto a CD to put in our fire proof box and also so that someday Ella can read them and find out that yes, her mother really is a weirdo. It's also become handy to remember things. Like when Ryan and I had our first date. It's hilarious to read what I thought of him that first night!
So there you go, if you've made it this far without falling asleep. I tag- Tiffany especially and anyone else who would like to. That means YOU!


Andre, Melissa & Jolie said...

That was really good! I learned so much! Being a mom is the best and I totally agree that when the doctor hand you your baby for the first time, it is one of the best things ever! Don't worry Ella will do great in school, you tell by her personality and her outgoiningness (is that a word?) I think that she will love it becuase she will be able to learn so much and meet so many friends! Arizona has some of highest ranked school districts. So don't worry, everything will be okay! That is so sweet what you wrote about the kids and ryan! I have the same fear of someone coming into my house too, and I hope I would be brave enough to kick some butt and not hide in a closet either! I have told Andre on many occasions that I want a gun, he says no. Then I asked for a Tazer, he said maybe! So if I get one, bad guys better stay away! I think that it's great that you keep journals, that is really neat, I have about 40 journals too, but all just have one entry that reads something like this... I am going to write in you everyday... and that is the last entry! I don't think that any of the ways you describe sound like a particularly pleasent way to die! I think about those things all the time too! I check on JOlie sleeping all the time, I wake up in the middle of the night like 5 times just to check if she is breathing! I am so scared! I have never had a bug crawl up my leg or back and I have lived here for 22 years, I think you will be okay. I can count on one hand how many times in my life that I have found bug in the shower (and that is over the course of 22 years!) I love to vacuum too! I hate a dirty floor and especially with 3 dogs running around and now that Jolie is more mobile, I am vacuuming all the time! I am always discusted at what come out of the canister of the vaccum! Okay well now that my comment is just about as long as your post I will go!

Tiffany Robinson said...

You are GREAT!! I think you are the perfect mother and wife. You are always making me strive to do better. When you told me you swept that was my next goal. Since we have gotten closer as friends I have actually not been so afraid of being a mom. Staying home more, dealing with lifes struggles and still surviving without John is always my biggest challenge. Thanx to you and Lisa I have learned so much....It's ok and I can do it! Thank you for everything, even if you don't think you did much.

Heather Ballard said...

That was really interesting to read. Thanks for entertaining me on this Fri. night.

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